German · A2 · Family moment
Finding your place as a big sibling in German
Use warm, reassuring German to support an older child after a new baby arrives. Practise helfen, gefallen, gehören and fehlen, focusing on who or what is the subject and which person takes the dative.
What you'll learn
- Offer help and recognise your child's contribution.
- Talk about shared time, belongings and missing each other.
- Identify the nominative subject and the dative person with helfen, gefallen, gehören and fehlen.
- Use mir, dir and dem Baby with these verbs.
German phrases for finding your place as a big sibling
Kann ich dir bei deiner besonderen Aufgabe helfen?
Can I help you with your special job?
Ich is the subject: the person offering help. Dir is the dative person receiving help.
Du hilfst mir heute sehr.
You are helping me a lot today.
Du is the subject doing the helping; mir is the dative person receiving help. The form with du is hilfst.
Gefällt dir der lustige Hut vom Baby?
Does the baby's funny hat appeal to you?
Der lustige Hut is the nominative subject. Dir identifies the person who may like it.
Unsere besondere Zeit zusammen gefällt mir.
I like our special time together.
Unsere besondere Zeit zusammen is the subject; mir is the person who likes it. German presents the time as pleasing to me.
Dieses Kaninchen gehört immer noch dir.
This rabbit still belongs to you.
Dieses Kaninchen is the subject. Dir is the dative owner. Immer noch reassures the child that this has not changed.
Die winzige Decke gehört dem Baby.
The tiny blanket belongs to the baby.
Die winzige Decke is the subject; dem Baby is the dative owner.
Fehlt dir Mama, wenn sie oben ist?
Do you miss Mum when she is upstairs?
Mama is the subject: the person who is missed. Dir is the person who feels her absence.
Du fehlst mir auch, wenn ich bei der Arbeit bin.
I miss you when I am at work too.
Du is the subject, so the verb is fehlst. Mir identifies the person who misses you.
Hear these phrases and practise them
Tildi plays every phrase out loud, tests you in five-minute lessons and builds them into bedtime stories from your own picture books.
Try it free for 7 daysKey words
die Aufgabe, die Aufgaben
task; job
A special responsibility for the older child, rather than paid employment.
der Hut, die Hüte
hat
Der lustige Hut means the funny hat.
das Baby, die Babys
baby
With gehören, dem Baby identifies the baby as the owner.
die Zeit, die Zeiten
time
Used in the singular here for special time spent together.
das Kaninchen, die Kaninchen
rabbit
Can refer to a real rabbit or, in context, a toy rabbit.
die Decke, die Decken
blanket
Winzig means tiny.
die Mama, die Mamas
mum; mommy
A familiar family word, usually used without an article when referring to your own mum.
die Arbeit, die Arbeiten
work
Bei der Arbeit means at work. The plural refers to separate tasks or works, not work in this general sense.
Four verbs that take a dative person
These verbs take a dative person because of the verb itself. Identify the subject first, then ask who receives help, likes something, owns something or misses someone.
| Use | Form | Example |
|---|---|---|
| helfen: help someone | helper (nominative) + helfen + person helped (dative) | Du hilfst mir. — You help me. |
| gefallen: appeal to someone | thing liked (nominative) + gefallen + person who likes it (dative) | Der Hut gefällt dir. — You like the hat. |
| gehören: belong to someone | belonging (nominative) + gehören + owner (dative) | Die Decke gehört dem Baby. — The blanket belongs to the baby. |
| fehlen: be missed by someone | person or thing missed (nominative) + fehlen + person feeling the absence (dative) | Mama fehlt dir. — You miss Mum. |
The subject controls the verb
The verb agrees with the nominative subject, not the dative person. With gefallen and fehlen, the English translation often starts with the person expressed by the German dative. Word order alone does not tell you which person is the subject.
| Use | Form | Example |
|---|---|---|
| I help you | ich helfe + dir | Ich helfe dir. — I help you. |
| You help me | du hilfst + mir | Du hilfst mir. — You help me. |
| One thing appeals to me | singular subject + gefällt + mir | Der Hut gefällt mir. — I like the hat. |
| Several things appeal to me | plural subject + gefallen + mir | Die Hüte gefallen mir. — I like the hats. |
| I miss you | du fehlst + mir | Du fehlst mir. — I miss you. |
| You miss me | ich fehle + dir | Ich fehle dir. — You miss me. |
More examples
Mama hilft dir.
Mum helps you.
Mama is the helper and subject; dir is the dative person receiving help.
Gefällt dir dieses Kaninchen?
Do you like this rabbit?
Dieses Kaninchen is the subject even though it comes after dir.
Die Decken gehören dir.
The blankets belong to you.
The plural subject die Decken takes gehören. Dir identifies the owner.
Du fehlst dem Baby.
The baby misses you.
Du is the subject and takes fehlst; dem Baby is the dative person who misses you.